Tag Archives: #Loneliness

Wealth n point m

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Hey.

I like doing stuff …

… myself.

Study.

Research.

Ideas.

Thought process.

System generation.

Edge development.

Ensemble implementation.

Start to finish.

Complete independence in thought process …

… sets up ‘pioneering’ output.

Gets lonely though.

I’m not afraid of silence, or being alone where I’m working. Still, long spells of professional growth are very…

…alone, in my lines of work…

… which are all computer based.

There’s no talking involved.

Some processes take half a day to develop upon the back of to and fro typalogue with the AI.

During market hours, there’s no talking either. Just the self, the terminal and markets. AI on the side.

Pre-market prep — post-market analysis — astrological analysis — language learning — how do I solve this one?

Wait a minute, language learning, there’s something there.

Ya, found it.

Language apps have a speak module. One can practice speaking a foreign language with the app’s AI.

There’s more. Chanting. Did I mention that I’m an amateur Nichiren Buddhist? We chant. Out aloud. Anything spoken is an outlet. For me. Buddhist practice encompasses visiting people, or just sheer calling up someone to see how they are doing. Creation of good causes in life is gold.

Lot of near ones like to talk – to me.

They like my view on things.

Need to take care not to intimidate.

Talking at the wave-length of the talking partner – that’s been a huge lesson for me.

And, that’s not the biggest lesson yet.

There are times when let’s say one is A+ in something, and one is thrown out into a field where one is E-.

Imagine what goes on in one’s mind.

When a hero turns to zero, it’s only because the mind is not comprehending the situation.

We should know our value.

Allowing one’s environment to dictate our self-worth is lesson not learnt.

Knowing one’s self-worth oneself is.

When your immediate environment doesn’t talk to you most of the time, or has some hangups with your personality, or for some reason just doesn’t like you, perhaps it’s not on you. Let’s not exclude that option.

What then? Sink? Or evolve?

Evolve.

To a point where understanding of the exact nature of immediate environment leads one to flip it just on the sheer basis of one’s behaviour.

Our behaviour patterns are what we carry forward, while other forms of wealth are left behind.

Small Shoots to Big Trees

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What do I see around myself?

Lots of small shoots. 

Wherever I look, there are small shoots. 

Does this make me happy?

You bet. 

Why?

Why not?

I mean, you don’t see any trees. 

So?

You’ve been at it for a while.

So?

All you’re seeing is shoots. Does that satisfy you? None of your efforts is a big tree in all this while.

That’s a very narrow-minded, greedy and fast-buck remark. 

Explain. 

For each of the shoots I see around me, twenty efforts have died their death. However, one shoot managed to entrench itself. This one shoot is firm, and goes very deep into the ground. It’s roots have become very strong. It is now ready for the world and has decided to show itself over the ground.  Over the next many, many years, with my meticulous nurturing, this very shoot shall grow up into a mammoth tree with unprecedented positive consequences.

I see. And, you’re saying that you see many such shoots around yourself?

Yes, many many.

Wow.

Yeah, i’ve been busy. I’ve tried and discarded many things. What remained didn’t want to leave me. It got planted and grew roots. Now that the shoots are growing, they are mostly on auto-pilot. Some need tending to once a day, some once a week.

Does that give you empty spaces in between?

Yes.

How do you fill these empty spaces?

I do, and I don’t.

Meaning?

Unless something new refuses to leave me, I don’t wish to plant another tree.

Why?

I’m happy enough tending to what I have.

So you’ve reached the…what’s that called?

Sweet spot?

Yes, you’ve reached the sweet spot. But nobody knows about you. You’re not famous or anything.

That’s why the spot is sweet.

Meaning?

Nobody disturbs my privacy. I can go where I choose. Do what I want. I don’t need to share my time with anyone if I don’t want to. There are no compulsions imposed upon me. 

Do you think you will be famous one day?

When these shoots grow into big trees, that might happen.

Do you want it to happen?

I want my trees to grow. Not sure today about fame. It kills personal life. I like my life and its pace.

Any regrets?

Sometimes, I get lonely. It’s the nature of the path. Despite family and a decent social life, loneliness is still there. Applied finance requires a lot of alone-time. 

How do you deal with that?

I start tending to a different shoot. Financial. Non-financial. Recreational. Creative. Gap gets bridged, and then the loneliness is gone. 

Pioneers

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Pioneers pioneer.

However, it’s a rough ride.

They don’t mind the ride.

There’s a fire which won’t be stilled till they’ve carved out their path.

Pioneers refuse to conform to their surroundings. What’s around them puts them off.

You see, many are not happy with what Nature offers them upfront, without any ado. A very small fraction of these unhappy people choose to do something about it. Majority of the latter fails. Those who succeed are called pioneers.

In a weak moment, pioneers look for comfort. The path is devoid of any. Is there someone, on the way, who offers them a cup of coffee? Seldom. Nobody really bothers with people who’re carving out their own path in the first place.

It’s ok.

Sometimes, though, things get lonely. Pioneers feel grossly misunderstood. They feel like misfits, till they make it fit by sheer and gargantuan effort.

After it fits, and the path’s been carved out, it’s all hunky-dory, mostly. The world wants to ride along any kind of recognition coming someone’s way.

There are those who carve their paths which the world isn’t able to understand immediately. Yeah, some pioneers die unrecognized, perhaps in misery. There’s been nobody to offer them that cup of coffee, their whole lives.

Such are the lives and times of pioneers.

Their achievements ultimately benefit the world monumentally.

Don’t be afraid of becoming one.

Yeah, do the world a favour.